Mystery Thursday #4

Host - Krista
Departure - 8pm
Transport - By foot
Destination - Bethnal Green
Activity - The Saddest Music in the World Contest

We had a crappy day at work and needed cheering up. After research I had a shortlist of 3. The first was an open-air tango lessons in Spitalfields, this would give us fresh air, physical activity and a laugh as none of us can or would ever tango dance. The second was something I can't reveal as it may be a Mystery Thursday at a later date, but it was jolly and fun and would put a smile on our moody faces.

I went for the ironic choice, and we set off down Bethnal Green Road to the BG Working Mens Club. The road to the place is desolate and the front of the building makes you want to walk right past, eyes down. My brother and boyfriend looked very nervous and very hesitant.

As we walked up the steps a man in a bowler hat and handlebar moustache walked past us, a lady in a 20's gear was at the desk and the bouncer was huge. It was very quiet and there was no clue to what we would be doing. I paid for 3 and then the 20's lady at the desk asked my brother for his left arm and handed him a pack of tissues in his right.

This made me laugh as my brother looked quite scared. We all got stamped and tissued and I explained I had not brought them to a sex show but to 'The Saddest Music in the World Contest' - which cheered them up.

The idea with the tissues is that after every performance you vote with your tissues, the most tissue wins.

There were about 6 other people huddled round small tables arranged cabaret style, on them candles and bins for tissues. We bought cheap booze and loads of crisps and took a table near the back. We watched the room fill up with all sorts of strange and wonderful characters including the Dad of my great pal Joe.

I was so happy to see him I introduced him as my brother to my brother. He is hilarious and a should be filmed for a documentary so I invited him to our table and enjoyed his company enormously.

About 10pm the performances started. It started strong but there were a few who didn't really keep to the theme and made it feel like an open-mike. My favourite was Lady Carol and she got 4 tissues from me.

We didn't stick around until the end because we were hungry and ran out of cash so we could not buy any more crisps. We left and walked down Brick Lane and ate a standard curry, I'm not going to do that again. I've done it too many times now when it is not necessary. Urgh.

Home, bed.

Mystery Thursday #3

Host - Gilan
Departure - 7.30pm
Transport - By taxi
Destination - Clerkenwell
Activity - Made In Clerkenwell opening night

Mystery Thursday #2

Host - David
Departure - 7pm
Transport - By taxi
Destination - E1
Activity - Isa Genzken @ The Whitechapel Gallery

Mystery Thursday #1

Host - Krista
Departure - 8pm
Transport - By taxi
Destination - Soho
Activity - Alcoholic Architecture,Soho


Urban Junkies featured this Bompas and Parr event in their newsletter, tickets were a fiver and I booked us in for the 9pm slot, each slot lasting 30 mins to control numbers.

We were ticked off while the guy on the door was being begged to let 3 people in who had not booked. This gave my activity some credibility.

We were issued white hooded overalls and went through a curtain to a Hendricks bar where a Dandy-dressed barman mixed us a g&t - with a slice of cucumber which I always like as it serves as a nibble you don't have to carry around.

We followed the white overalls hoods downstairs into a white basement. This was the 'alcoholic architecture' bit.

A huge vaporiser was pumping out...vapour. But gin and tonic vapour. The boozehounds were standing right next to it inhaling deeply flashing grins from the novelty.

It looked surreal, a large straw, a token slice of lemon (Hendricks would not be impressed) and lots of smiling faces poking out of white hooded overalls holding glasses of gin - apart from a girl drinking wine.

This confused me. There is only one reason she was not drinking gin and that was because she does not like it. So why then immerse yourself in a room full of the very stuff.

It was fun, we enjoyed it and our Tanqueray swigging Dad was very jealous.

Afterwards we walked round to Poland Street, just getting into Cattle Grid before they closed the kitchen. We shared a full rack of baby back ribs to start (they don't do starters) then all went for steaks. Gilan went for a 16oz T-bone, David for the 10oz sirloin and I had the 10oz Ribeye, sides were some great onion strings, rubbish peppercorn sauce (disgusting soapy wholesale variety) but nice blue cheese sauce, although not much of it. All washed down with Malbec.

Taxi home, then bed.

I went to the Ultimate Boot Camp the next morning. Great prep.